Right, so I decided to go to this workshop thing a while back. It was pitched as some kind of leadership accelerator, you know the type. Sounded good on paper. I figured, why not, maybe I’ll learn something useful I can actually use day-to-day.
Got there, typical conference room setup. Coffee wasn’t great. Anyway, the facilitator starts talking about pushing boundaries and getting real. Then they introduce this concept they called the ‘coach’s hot seat’. Basically, one person goes up front and gets grilled by the facilitator and maybe the group, supposedly to help them break through some issue. My first thought was, ‘Okay, hope they don’t pick me.’ Naturally.
Wouldn’t you know it, about an hour in, after seeing a couple of other folks go through it, my name gets called. Felt like being called to the principal’s office. Had to walk up and sit in this single chair facing everyone else. The room suddenly felt very quiet and very large.
The facilitator started asking about a project I was handling, one that had hit a few roadblocks. I gave my usual prepared answers, you know, resource constraints, shifting priorities, the standard stuff. But they didn’t let up. They kept digging. ‘Okay, but what was the real reason you didn’t flag that issue sooner?’ ‘What conversation were you avoiding?’ It got uncomfortable fast. My palms were sweating. I could feel everyone watching.
Honestly, I blanked for a second. Tried to deflect again, but it wasn’t working. They just waited. So, I had to actually think about it, right there, on the spot. Ended up admitting I was worried about looking like I didn’t have control, that I avoided the difficult conversation with another department because, well, I didn’t like conflict. Saying it out loud in front of maybe 30 strangers was… something.
It wasn’t some magic moment where everything became clear. It was awkward and I felt incredibly exposed. What I had to do, really, was this:
- Stop giving the easy, surface-level answers.
- Actually try to figure out the root cause, even if it was uncomfortable.
- Admit I didn’t have it all figured out.
- Just sit with the discomfort for a minute.
Getting out of that chair was a relief, let me tell you. Went back to my seat feeling a bit shaky. Later, talking to people during the break, it seemed like everyone felt the intensity, even just watching. It didn’t suddenly solve all my problems or make me love confrontation, obviously. Life isn’t a training montage.
So, What Was the Point?
Looking back, it wasn’t about the specific project or the answers I gave. It was about being put under pressure and being forced to stop running from an uncomfortable truth. That specific truth for me was about avoiding conflict, but for someone else, it was different. It kind of forces you to see your own patterns. It sucked in the moment, absolutely sucked, but it did stick with me. It’s one thing to know your weaknesses, it’s another to have them laid bare in a room full of people. Makes it harder to ignore, I guess. Still feels weird thinking about it, to be honest.
